Part one of the system was to expose you to quantity. Part two was to refine your ability to secure the date. Part three is about determining who is the right person for you: The Match.
What is a good match? Some people will say that opposites attract. Others will say that compatibility is the key. What is the right fit in finding the right person?
We have talked around this in previous blog posts. I think we all know chemistry when it happens. Sometimes that chemistry a burn hot at first, and sometimes it takes awhile spark and kindle into a flame. Both are fine. Be wary of those that burn too hot too fast, as they most likely won’t last.
Aside from chemistry, which feels tangible, how do you really know?
- You don’t have to over think it. Great relationships evolve. You don’t have to create a strategy to ensnare someone. They want to be with you and that happens. If someone doesn’t call, or acts disinterested, they are. It’s not an attempt to make a real relationship occur. Don’t tell yourself what you want to hear to force it to happen. Move on to the next candidate.
- You have similar backgrounds. For instance, you were an only child and he was the youngest child by ten years. Or, your families are both family oriented, and focus on doing things together. You grew up respecting and valuing the same things in life (living in the country, having a large family, etc.).
- You don’t have polarizing views on religion and politics. It’s true, these things divide us. Most of America falls into the political mainstream, so this may be a mute point. But when you are at opposite ends in your views, it is probably not a long term match (think agnostic and Christian).
- You find that you have things in common. My husband and I are both huge fans of horror movies, the bloodier the better. It bonds us. We also love to cook. After years together, these are the things that make our life more interesting.
- You want the same things in life. Do you want children and a family? Do you want no children and a life of travel? Do you want to focus on career? You have to both be headed in similar directions.
All too often, singles settle for less than what they are worth in a relationship, by sacrificing the things they hold dear. Know yourself, and you will find the right match.
Filed under: Finding Someone Tagged: | dating goals, dating life
