Personal Resolutions for Dollars and for Dating
Our money and our relationships are very personal to us. You would think those two things are completely separate and at odds with each other, one is analytical and the other is emotional, right? Wrong. They are both analytical and emotional to everyone.
Our behaviors are our behaviors regardless of the personal conflict we are currently facing. That means, we react the same way to both of these things. So for an enlightening resolution this New Year, let’s commit to accomplishments for both.
- No more excuses. Face the Facts. Don’t know where your money goes each month? Don’t know why you don’t have a date for the weekend? Stop playing games with yourself and face the facts.
- Track your dollars on paper or online. I have been using Quicken since 1994. It’s a great program, but can be a lot to take on if you don’t love finance. For beginners, I recommend www.mint.com. It’s a secure website that links to your bank accounts. You assign the expenses to a category and presto you have an easy tracking system. All of a sudden you can see that your money is going to all of the wrong places.
- What about your love life? Well, you can’t really complain about the lack of love if you aren’t doing anything about it. Commit yourself to an activity where you could meet people whether that is an online website (I recommend www.eharmony.com) or a singles group.
- Commit the Time. Spend two hours a week reviewing your finances and another two hours a week on your dating activity of choice. And yes, that is EVERY week. Holding yourself accountable is vital when it comes to your money and to getting yourself on the market. The moment you start missing those weekly appointments, is the time you know you are off track.
- Look for Improvements. Most people don’t want to make the commitment of time and energy, because they assume that means they will be doing the same thing over and over again. That’s not true. Just like any sport, practice makes perfect. You will start to see areas that you can be better at. You will grow through the realizations that happen. I’ve seen some amazing progress this way. I had one client who did spend the time each week to her dating activities. She soon learned that she ran out of small talk and felt awkward at about the same time in every conversation. As a result, she noticed that happened at work, too. She started paying closer attention to local sports and news and was able to improve her ‘small talk’ skills. She later told me that this helped her to get assigned to a large project at the office, as well as to better engage in personal conversations.
- Set end dates. I know the thought of doing something forever seems so, well, boring! We don’t want to work the same process forever (as we start out that seems unbearable). So set an end date for these activities just like you would any other project. For instance, promise yourself that you will track your money for the first three months of this year, and spend the time reviewing it each week. At the end of those three months, evaluate whether your system of tracking works with your lifestyle. No? Try something else. You might find that an online site doesn’t work, because you don’t get online at home or that the software you are using isn’t a great fit, because you need to be more mobile to check dollars during the day. The same rule applies to your dating activities. After three months, if the website or club you are using isn’t starting to bear fruit, try something new. This time, commit to another three months.
Are you starting to get the idea? We are all creatures of habit. We like what we like and we avoid what we don’t like. A new year brings new possibility to challenge ourselves and our way of thinking about the world. We have the ability to become better, learn more, do more, and to accomplish great things. Let’s make that happen! Happy 2011.
Filed under: Finding Someone Tagged: | 2011, new year, new year resolutions, online dating
