Dollars and Dating

Why is finding a great date so difficult? No, really. I have many single friends that are absolute winners, but are, well, single. By that I mean not dating at all. These are men and women with amazing careers, physically attractive, and normally adjusted (no major hang-ups or baggage). You probably know folks like this as well. So why aren’t they dating?

I do have some experience in this area. You can take the girl out of matchmaking, but you can’t take matchmaking out of the girl (or something like that). I am exceptionally excited about a match I have made that takes place tonight. She is a forty something executive director of a non-profit. She’s fun, bubbly, a people person and attractive. He is a fifty something director for a medical center, with a penchant for gin, community events, and fine dining.

So, why would people like this not be dating? I can break this down to a couple of answers.

1. Lack of effort. The number one problem is apathy. After seeking and finding disappointing results, many folks just stop trying. It usually starts with some head trash that sounds like, “I’ll just take a break for awhile.” That break can last indefinitely. Being alone becomes comfortable and starting up the search again can seem overwhelming.

2. Lack of faith. Let’s face it, we get pickier as we get older. We are less inclined to settle into a bad relationship. If this has been the case for awhile, some folks lose faith that there is a great match out there. In fact, I have had many arguments with single friends about this. They have convinced themselves that the right person just doesn’t exist. Or if that person does exist, they will be so difficult to find that it is like a needle in a haystack. Basically, it’s more head trash.

I do agree that the more selective you are, the harder it is to find someone. But doesn’t that just mean you need to meet more people to increase your odds? If it is a needle in a haystack, shouldn’t you be visiting a lot of haystacks?

I don’t know if the meeting tonight will be a success or not. I do know that they have a lot in common, are physically what the other person finds attractive, and that they have a great attitude. What happens after that is up to them. So to all of my single friends out there, get rid of your head trash and jump back into the dating pool. Life is so much more fun when you do find someone to share it with.